R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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