he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
vagina is talking i cant
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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