Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize