Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
