you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
