I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
