I looked at my own cervix.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
