How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
