Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
