your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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