just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
