So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize