I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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