Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
