A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
