I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
