i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
