i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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