True but thats because hes a fetus.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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