I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
