are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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