I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
May the power of my ass compel you!!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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