belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
