he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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