You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
