no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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