I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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