rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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