I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We need to get me chipped asap
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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