I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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