There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
