I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
