omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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