i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
