Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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