Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
