mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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