Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
