shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
