I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
