Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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