If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
