I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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