with your own penis?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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