So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
try to milk me bitch
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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