I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
