Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
