There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
