are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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