He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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