Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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