You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize