I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
