You smell like stripper and shame
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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