I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
