you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
