Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
