Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the condom got lost in my hair
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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