it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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