Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
