I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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