We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
