i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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