That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
