I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
