Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
